Sleep Training Day 2.....the rollercoaster of guilt

Thanks to those who left comments yesterday. It's nice to know who you are. I know there are plenty others of you lurking and that's okay too. I am getting the sense that many would like to know how sleep training day 2 is going so far and of course how the night went last night. I will just start by saying I have had better nights and I have had better days. But we are only half way through and there are plenty of hours left for improvement. If you are just here for a craft tutorial.....please scroll down. Happy Tutorial Tuesday to ya! If you don't mind a little woe is me session then keep reading.

First and foremost let me say that I know I don't have it that bad. I could be much much much worse. There are many mothers out there that fight harder and longer battles to raise their children and in the grand scheme of things I am not dealing with all that much. Having said that, I would still like to throw myself a small pity party and you are of course invited.

Last night started of like any other. I got Jacob ready for bed as usual just before 7pm and started his bedtime feed right at 7. As per the nurses instructions, I was to not feed him to sleep but feed him to drowsy. When I got the sense that he was done I was to make eye contact, sing him a little song or something, and then put him down awake but drowsy. If he cried wait 10 minutes before going in. He cried lightly but was out in about 5 minutes. He then cried/whimpered on and off for about an hour. Never for very long, but just enough to get me listening. I was by myself for bedtime last night so it was helpful to have the first ten minutes happen while I was getting Mags ready for bed. I had enough going on with her to not stew over him and his tears. And that's one part that really sucks,....he has real tears now....the are little but they are there....

I went to bed about 10:30 and then stewed and tossed and turned and worried that I was doing the right thing and then I worried that he had suffocated himself with his lovey (I made Dan go check just in case) and then I worried about what I was going to do when he got up. I laid there until almost midnight. Just staring at the insides of my eyelids.

Around 12:20 he started to stir. This is much earlier than usual. I watched the clock until 12:29 and then like a switch, he got quiet. Shew...we made it...or so I thought. At 12:45 he started up again. This time he was filled with so much angst that the 10 minutes were almost unbearable. But, my be was super comfy and I was really tired, I diligently waited the requisite 10 minutes. At 12:55 I went in to feed him. He at for 30 minutes total. Again I laid him down drowsy but awake. Again he cried when I left. It only took him about 3 minutes to settle and fall asleep.

Then I got some rest. I slept from about 1:30 until 6:30am. At 6:00 I was awakened by his cooing. It was a nice sound but entirely too early. I decided to wait him out. Would the cooing stop and he fall back asleep? (no) Would the cooing gradually gain speed until he was uncontrollably crying? (yes) I went into his room at 6:30 to calm him down. His ramp up from cooing to crying was very short, but he cooed for more than 20 minutes. I really want him to get to 7am. We're working on it.

On to naps.....duh don duh....(**cue ominous music**)...not so successful this morning. Because he got up early, he was tired early. I made him last until 8:30 before I put him down. He got himself to sleep very quickly (YAY!) but then woke up after 1 hour. (BOO!) For the second hour of his nap I went in every 10 minutes to soothe him (not really every ten minutes, but I did go in about 4 times during the hour...every time I came in he seemed to get even more pissed when I left....although he was all smiles when I was in there.) I finally rescued him from his crib at 10:50. He ate like a champ. I have been trying the Gripe Water, but he spits most of it out. ....and then I remember the tip that Jenny gave me. (put it in a bottle nipple and let him suck it out...that worked much better...thanks Jenny!!!!!!)

So here we are. I am now out on the back porch enjoying the AwEsOmE day. Maggie is splashing around in the baby pool and watering the plants. Jacob is next to me in the shade on a blanket, cooing away. I might put him in the bumbo if he gets bored on his back.

Hopefully, the afternoon nap will be smoother since he is pretty tired already from only having an hour nap followed by and hour plus of intermittent crying. I feel like I should feel really bad about the CIO method, but honestly I don't. I feel like it's going to work in the long run. If I can make it through the next few days. If.............